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September 12 #neverforget


September 12, 2018

September 12, 2018, was a day that changed our lives forever. While September 11 is a to remember, a day to never forget, a day to reflect on how far we have come, September 12 is also that day for us.


On September 12, 2018, we found out Nolan would need open-heart surgery to repair his heart. Until this day it was only a possibility. Yes, we always knew it had a high probability, but it was still a possibility. On September 12, 2018, it became our reality.


We got to the Cardiologist, got Nolan undressed, wrapped him in a blanket, and walked him back for his echocardiogram. We sat and prayed while the tech took 110 images of his heart, and then went back and waited for Dr. V to come and deliver the news.


He told us that Nolan would need surgery and did not see any signs of closure. He let us know that the hospital was backed up with surgeries that he did not want Nolan going past 6 months without his operation (he was currently 4 months old). Our next appointment with Dr. V would be after Nolan's operation.


We left that day in tears. I remember hugging the nurses on the way out the door and them telling us that it would be okay. To breathe. To stay strong.


As we drove home I remember thinking, "How could this be? We had prayed so hard, we had done everything right, Nolan was doing well, how could this be?" We were not angry, we were scared. We were still clueless as to what this surgery even really meant. And for the first time, we knew that Nolan couldn't live without this operation.


The first phone call I made was to my friend Danielle. I needed her to help me pull it together to call our family and tell them. She told me "I am happy to hear this, you all have wanted a clear plan and now you have one. I think it is a good thing. And he is going to be the strongest boy ever soon." She was right. We had been praying for a plan and here we finally had one.


From September 12, 2018, until surgery day on November 15, 2018, time felt like it stood still. 63 days felt like a lifetime and there wasn't an hour that went by that we were not thinking about this upcoming operation.


But today, I can't believe it has been 365 days. Now we go days, and weeks without thinking of surgery, and when we do we think of the start of Nolan's life. He has come so far and fought so hard.


365 days ago our son was fighting for each breath, and today is effortlessly thriving. Last year I wasn't sure we would see this day and here we are.


Nolan because of you we are forever changed, and I am forever grateful.



September 2018

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© 2018 by Laina Moore